The Purpose Built Conundrum.

There are rules in the world of cars.

Not all of them are strictly necessary for every enthusiast to know, but there are some that most should at least be mildly familiar with.

Don’t lift mid-corner in an old 911 unless you’re a huge fan of lamp posts.

Keep your thumbs outside the wheel when off roading, unless you desire the nickname “octodigit”

Stay the hell away from sidewalks near the exit of a rainy BMW meet.

And every modification you do to a car WILL somehow make some other aspect of said car, worse.

That last one is a doozy by the way. I’ve been through it time and time again, and no matter how many times I try to improve something and inadvertently make something else worse, I STILL regularly modify my cars. Because we all seek a car that is perfectly purpose built for a task. And also, I’m an idiot.

Car Manufacturers struggle with this concept all the time (not with me being an idiot, although I’m sure by now they are aware) but as a general rule the more specific the task a car is built for, the worse it is at doing everything else.

Take a Lotus Elise as the perfect example. Make a car have the best and most pure sports car experience possible, and you'll quickly find out just how awful it is at doing regular everyday car things. Ever tried to simply get into an Elise? You need to warm up. And once you’re inside you realize that your feet rest on bare steel and aluminum panels, and the seat feels like someone stretched some vinyl over welded aluminum sheets. (they actually have).

The road noise is insane, and it sucks so much at everything except carving a canyon road or slicing up a track that I refuse to believe that every owner hasn’t at least once wondered if they made the wrong decision.

But the truth is, if you want the best possible sports car experience and everything that goes with it, I.e. godly steering, perfect chassis communication, razor engine response, and exciting handling, there is pretty much no better way than a Lotus. (Or something equally as purpose built like a Caterham or something).

Hyper specialized cars do their one task perfectly, at the cost of their ability to do anything else.  So when a car manufacturer attempts to balance all things you end up with a car that isn’t amazing at any of them.

My M2 is the best example of balance that I can think of. As far as I have experienced, it’s one of the best at juggling a sports car experience with something that doesn't make you hate yourself and your life choices. 

Handling? 7.5/10

Engagement? 6/10

Livability? 7.5/10

Honestly that's pretty tidy all the way around. But it doesn’t have huge stand-outs. If you want a car to cruise quietly and comfortably on the highway, you MUST sacrifice some form of engagement. The driver is a bit too insulated from the road, the steering is just…good…. and the engine, while punchy, and perfect for sporty daily driving, isn’t anywhere near what old naturally aspirated BMW engines used to be like. But those engines, well, blew up, so… yeah.

Point is, the M2 represents compromise. And if you want a car to be truly good at one task, you cannot compromise. You have to commit. Like a Jeep.

Jeeps suck. They are truly horrible to drive everyday. Most people drive them having no idea why they suck, but they like the way they look so they live with hilarious road and tire noise, below average safety, and steering that wanders all over the highway because of its solid front axle. But the thing is, when you get a Jeep into a serious off-road situation, they’ll humiliate just about every other vehicle in the world. 

That solid axle ruining the steering means you can do bigger lifts, and allow for articulation that makes the vehicle look broken. And you can get a Jeep with front and rear locking differentials and a disconnecting sway bar. The only other vehicle that could do that for a long time was the G Wagen. But the G went to independent front suspension. The Bronco is the same.

Both the Bronco and the G are superior on a highway. Quieter, smoother, easier to drive. But when really pushed to the limits on highly technical terrain, the Jeep will win. Does that mean you should live with all the compromises on the road? I don’t know the answer but I find comfort in the fact that unless I decided I was going to move to Utah, I would never buy a Jeep.

However I am lucky enough to have space for multiple cars. So I can specialize my choices a bit more. I have a classic convertible Alfa, which sucks at literally everything except making me feel like a 70’s movie star at sunset. I have an F-150 which, although much improved over the years, is still ridiculously huge and awful to maneuver around a city, but it tows huge loads and has an onboard 7200 watt generator. I also have a BMW race car. Which obviously is so specialized at being a race car that it could probably never be converted back to a daily car. And I have my M2 to split the difference between all of them. This all makes sense to me. All is right with my world.  So imagine my surprise when I spent a week with the new INEOS Grenadier.

This is a vehicle that is massively overbuilt, and so hyper specialized for long off road technical travel that it should be absolutely awful to live with in an everyday setting. But, it isn't. 

It has front and rear solid axles, a boxy body that's never heard of the term aerodynamics, and suspension that's designed to carry you and enough stuff for a 6 month journey across Africa. It should drive like a farm truck. 

So how is it so agreeable to live with? I don’t understand. The ride is good, it’s silent even on the highway, it feels sturdy and luxurious, and even though it has some solid front axle steering-suckiness, it doesn't bother me that much. It's still fun to drive. It feels like it’s able to handle the absolute worst you could ever throw at it.

And it's the same price as the new Defender. Some 60,000 odd dollars cheaper than a G Wagen, and only marginally more expensive than a Wrangler Rubicon. And even though it would likely have similar performance to the Jeep in technical terrain due to the optional front and rear locking differential and solid axles, it drives much closer to an X7 than it does a Jeep.

It might be one of the least compromised ultra-specialized vehicles I’ve ever driven. Consider me confused and distraught. I thought I had it all figured out. Ah well. What's the point of having rules, if every once in a while someone doesn’t try to break them?

- Thomas Holland